I am once again procrastinating at work and have decided to write my first post for 2013. So far this year has been off to a great start! The 24-year-old surprised me and came to my NYE party just before the ball dropped. It felt like something out of a movie- made me feel very lucky.
As an aside, and a very personal one at that, I have been struggling recently with my skin. At 27 years old you would think my days of acne were behind me, but NOT so- not even close. I have always had the occasional breakouts when I don't take care of my body or get enough sleep.. and oddly enough when the weather changes (3x per year), but a course of antibiotics and a good bit of sleep usually helps. At the beginning of fall this year, and a course of antibiotics, and my skin was still not up to par. It's funny because I remember in August getting my makeup done for my friend's wedding and the makeup artist commented on how beautiful my skin was. Funny how fast things change. Anyway, around October, my dermatologist suggested I look into Claravis (Accutane). I have always worried about it because of the horrible side effects I have heard about: severely dry skin, dry eyes, horrible stiffness, mood swings, and worst of all, lasting depression. My mom is a nurse by trade and was vehemently against my going on the medication before my brain was fully developed (age 24/25). So, at 27, she was more comfortable, until...she found out the new link between Accutane and Chron's/Colitis. There is currently a big lawsuit against the company that produces the medication because so many people have developed these debilitating bowel diseases. Anyway, not deterred, I decided to try to kick acne's but once and for all.
My doctor started me on a lower dose than I would eventually end up with to prevent a flare, but unfortunately, my skin did flare up and I ended up with a not so attractive face for about 10 days out of the month. By the time I went back for my monthly checkup, my skin had cleared up. My doctor upped the dose, once again promising I should not flare. WELL, this time, it was worse. My skin is actually worse than I can ever remember it being. And this time, cover-up doesn't even work. My self confidence has definitely taken a hit. It is frustrating to know that if you think you're overweight, you can work out and eat better, but you cannot help how your skin looks...bummer!
Back to NYE- I was actually really nervous about seeing the boy. As much as I wanted to see him, I also didn't want to see him because I was afraid once he saw my face, he would no longer be interested. We had a really great night and I am glad I saw him, but I still worry that he doesn't want to see me again because of what I looked like that night.
I look forward to my skin clearing up- if this medication works, it will be worth it. I also look forward to seeing the boy again. Fingers are crossed that he calls tonight..
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