I had been seeing a guy for about a month and instead of getting more and more excited to see him, I found the reverse was true. At first I thought he was funny, light-hearted, and loved to have a good time. Soon I realized he actually could never take anything seriously and he likely had a drinking problem (and some deeply buried issues). All of this was building up in the days before Christmas. As a Jew I do not celebrate the holiday, but funny enough, there are always big parties on Christmas eve in various cities. After a weekend of lackluster feelings for this guy, I decided to end things on Sunday night- just in time for Monday night's festivities. He took it well and it was over and done with quickly.
While I was seeing the above guy, I had also gone on a friendly brunch-turned date with a guy who lives in my building. We had been texting/talking a bit and had planned on meeting up. He was throwing a big party at his place before the larger bar parties later on Christmas Eve. Initially, when I was seeing both guys, I thought I might just stay in to avoid having an awkward run-in with either. But, after my "very grown up phone call," I knew that was no longer necessary. So, I was happy I had a chance to really explore my options, and I brought two friends with me and ventured to the party in my building.
The pre-party was great. I had the chance to talk to a few people- there were probably 70+ in attendance, but I don't think I really talked to TOO many new people. One of the people I met was a guy who was adorable, but WAY too young for me- 3.5 years younger actually. Fast forward to the ACTUAL party which completely transformed Howard Theatre, and I was a dancing machine. After happy hour sushi and cocktails with a good friend and a pre-party, I was in a prettyyyy good place.
It was then that I saw pretty much every guy I've dated in DC that is not married- ok, it was only 3 people, but that's still too many for me. I decided to go for a little walk around the venue and ran back into the youngin' from earlier. This time, he looked even cuter and somehow we made our way from one end of the dancefloor to the other and REALLY started dancing. I am by no means a good dancer, but I can move to the beat- apparently he could too- and he was a good dancer. A few hours of dancing later, the guy from my building awkwardly came up to me to "offer me to share a cab back to our place," but I was having way too much fun.
Eventually, youngin' and I left the venue and set off to find some food. We first stopped in a pizza-ish place. Youngin' had to use the facilities and I was hungry, so I started looking at the menu. When I ordered the avacado and chicken salad, I was informed they didn't have avacado. The man behind the counter seemed confused and there was an evil-looking heavy-ish woman standing in the doorway, glaring at me. When I placed another order, they didn't have that either, so youngin' and I decided to leave. The mean lady was NOT having it. "You just used the bathroom and you're not getting anything? You can't do that you know." Me: "I WANTED to order food, but you don't have anything. What am I supposed to do?" Man behind the counter: "water costs money ya know." With this, I mumbled something about how they should stock up on food if they want people to order and youngin and I started walking out. That crazy lady pushed me- and I don't mean a light shove, but a violent shove. After some pushing and yelling, she had to be restrained by another person in the store who I think was also related to her, and youngin' and I set out to find real food with less crazy people.
The only other place open in my previously bustling city which had become a ghost town, was a random Lithuanian diner of sorts (though I swear it was more Greek). We each ordered salads, talked about life, and then went home. I kid you not, I fell in love that night with youngin'. There have been 3 other people in my life I can distinctly remember feeling this way about- my HS bf whom I dated on and off for under a year, a guy I met when I first moved to DC who I casually dated for a few months until he moved away, and another youngin' who I dated for 3 weeks (he had ended a 2 year relationship about 3 weeks prior and was nowhere near ready to date- oops). Each of these three people have left footprints on my heart. They are the people who made my heart skip a beat, made my stomach drop- when I saw them, I had to take a deep breath- when the adrenaline from my excitement made my body shake and my palms sweat.
This new youngin', he does that for me. What will become of it all? I do not know. I hope we can make something work. I hope it lasts longer than one night and I hope I am not devastated when and if it ends. I remember with the most recent youngin that I was more crushed ending our 3 week fling than I was when I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months. It reminds me about how little time matters and how it is your feelings that mean everything.
Whatever happens, I am thankful to have met this youngin' and hopeful that it will all come together for me one day, because now I have faith that IT exists.
No comments:
Post a Comment